Fairly recently, I was asked to help plan a high school retreat with prayer as the focus. Each time I would sit down to brainstorm ideas for talks, I found myself completely lost for what to do. I was so overwhelmed with the fact that there were so many different types of prayer and an infinite number of ways to pray. Even my own prayer life can be a struggle because prayer can seem so overwhelming.
Some days praying is like pulling teeth, I sit there and I get easily distracted by every little thing and I become so frustrated with myself. I’ll sit down to read my bible and I’ll find that my heart isn’t really in it, I’m reading the Bible because I’m told that’s what holy people do, not because I want to know God.
I think I’ve talked about this in an earlier blog post, but I often find that I make holiness a competition with myself. I feel like I need to get as holy as possible as fast as possible on my own strength. It comes from some deepest wound which caused me to believe that I need to earn love, and I know in my mind that it is a lie but old habits die hard. So my prayer becomes a race to prove that I am worthy of God’s love, not a time of seeking a genuine relationship with Him.
So every time I would go to plan this retreat, I would open a Google Doc. and just stare at it. I would try to come up with ideas for talks, for different ways to introduce what prayer is in a way that would not only make sense, but would also be appealing to my audience. For weeks, every time I sat there thinking about this retreat, I always came up with nothing. I had no idea where to start.
And so, yesterday I had put some time in my schedule, yet again, to brainstorm for this retreat. And as I stared at that blank Google Doc. I asked the Lord for some direction since I was struggling so much (something I should have done earlier.) After a moment, I realized that there is a perfect place to start right on my bookshelf. The Catechism of the Catholic Church.
The CCC is broken up into four parts, which are the pillars of our faith. The first is the Profession of Faith (the section on the Creed, and what we believe, sort of the content of our faith), the second is the Sacraments (the ways that the Lord communicates Himself to us and gives us access to His grace), the third is Life in Christ (how we are expected to live as catholics based on what we believe), and the last pillar is about prayer.
Evidently, in my studies through college, the one section of the Catechism that I was the least familiar with was that last section. Most of my classes really focused on the first three pillars (So much so that I’ve read through them all about three times). But I’m not sure that I was ever required to read from the section on prayer.
So that’s what I did. I got out my catechism, opened to the very last section and began to read and annotate to my heart’s content. And to my surprise, the first part of this section summed prayer up very simply. It said (and I’m paraphrasing here) that prayer is when a person humbly raises their mind and heart to God who is constantly pursuing us out of love. It is our response to God’s constant seeking after us.
When I took a class on the Theology of the Body in college, something that was stressed the whole way through is that God always initiates a relationship with us. He is always choosing us, always running after us, and we have the ability to choose him in return or we can choose against him and turn our backs on Him. But the important thing to remember is that He always is initiating the relationship with us, not the other way around.
If this is true (and it is) then prayer is simply us stopping and allowing Him to enter our hearts and minds. It’s not a race to prove we’re worthy of Him, it’s not us trying to reach an unattainable level of holiness on our own, but it is as simple as stopping and inviting the Lord into our hearts.
Prayer doesn’t have to be a complex set of steps and memorized prayers that somehow proves that you are holy. Especially at the beginning stages of building a habit of prayer, simpler is the way to go. Reading the daily readings is the simple act of acknowledging God and His truth. The simple prayer, “Come Holy Spirit,” is a beautiful way to elevate your mind and make the Lord the center of what you are doing.
Honestly, though, the Lord just wants to spend time with you. He’s not picky on the how, just that you give Him time to love you and to be loved by you.
So if you’ve been struggling to have a consistent prayer life or if the thought of prayer overwhelms you, take it slow and start simply. Prayer is not complicated, it can be as simple as telling the Lord that you’re really enjoying your ice cream cone. He only wants the opportunity to spend some time with you. Because He loves you deeply.
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